Wednesday, 7 April 2010

The Final Taboo

The General Election has finally been called here in the UK, and now it's time for me to start doing some campaigning of my own.

At the beginning of the year I said I would try anything once in my search for my Perfect 10.  With this in mind I’m going to dip my toe in the murky pool of internet dating.

To many people internet dating is still seen as one of the last dating taboos and the preserve of the more socially inept losers out there in Singlesville. I have to admit, rather judgementally, that I subscribe to this line of thought, and I agree with the common belief that internet matchmaking websites are like dating graveyards.

I am of course talking from a position of total ignorance.  But surely these depressing places must be inhabited by sad and desperate mingers masquerading as someone altogether more attractive?  You know, people who use a photoshopped picture of an overly coiffed David Hasselhoff for their profile picture.

I’m probably being unfair, but it’s got to be a last resort if you have to look for a partner online, hasn’t it?

I know, I know, this isn’t strictly true, and I do know a few people who have signed up to various online dating websites with successful results. However there is still a part of me that doesn’t want to admit that I’m giving it a try.

In my eyes internet dating is still tarnished with the stigma that you really must have exhausted all the other options of finding a bloke.  It can't be good if you have to resort to spending hours on the internet, cruising pictures of men sporting Borat-style mankinis in their dodgy holiday snaps.  That's before you even start to read their tedious profiles.

But, fortune favours the brave, and not being one to back away from a challenge I'm going to give it a whirl.

I’m going to tell a few of my close friends that I’m signing up to the world of internet matchmaking heaven so I can get a bit of moral support.  I'm also going to get them to check out any potential finds so I can have a second opinion.

You know, things like: He looks like a serial killer.
Or: I've dated him already and he has rabies

My best friend Louise is already signed up with Match and has been out on a few fairly successful dates, so this is the one I decide to plump for. 

I've paid my registration fee and I’m ready to go.

Well, just not yet.  I have to carefully craft my profile and hone my weirdo-rader first...


  1. Well, you know that I've been there, done that, got the T-shirt and the emotional scars!

    Back in the day I’d always thought of internet dating as the realm of the sad and desperate, something that you’d never admit to doing for fear of appearing to be a Billy-No-Mates who’d been left on the shelf. If you had to advertise yourself to complete strangers, as if you were goods on eBay then you were practically admitting that you were an unwanted item. I mean, even Bridget Jones didn't end up internet dating (yes I know, probably because it didn't exist then, but you know what I mean!)

    Life changed though and so did my attitude - I realised that in a lot of ways it's a necessary evil. After all when you work full time and have other stuff going on in your life when are you supposed to have the time to go totty trawling?

    Despite all the knocks and the ups and downs, I don't regret having done it. Without it I would never have met Ryan who has turned into a really good friend. I met some lovely people and some complete arses, I fell in love and got my heart broken.

    I think that it is only something that you can do for a finite period of time though or you start to become hardened to it all so I'll be hanging up my mouse as it were in June when my Match subscription expires.

    If you have the right attitude it can be great fun, but just be careful. Don't take it too seriously, have some fun and remember to look after yourself.

    Good luck, and I look forward to hearing all about your dating adventures!


  2. Don't do it!

    Actually do cause at least it gives you stories to tell.

    It is why I started blogging - I'd email my friends to tell them about my experiences and then it was suggested I blog so everyone could read about it. It might be my imagination but I'm sure my friends are a lot nicer to me now they know what I go through as a single girl!!!

    Rapunzel x

  3. "He has rabies" haha

    I did the internet dating thing. I don't really like it. I have heard of a bunch of people who met their husbands that way, though. I think the site you go on makes a big difference as far as type of person goes.

    Can't wait to hear all about it!

  4. I actually find internet dating quite fun! Well, sometimes. Err, how about everyone's doing it? Yay, that's it :)

    Actually, I don't think it's such a stigma anymore. I originally signed up in London because I had just moved there and didn't have the social circles yet to meet blokes. There are a bunch of losers, but there are also a lot of nice people trying it out just like you! Plus you can set up dates from the comfort of your living room!

    I'd suggest mysinglefriend. A friend has to write the profile, so you get a much better idea of them than if they'd written it. I also found the quality of men on there of much higher caliber. Good luck! And of course blog about it ;)

  5. Some of the dating sites offer "free weekends" or free trials every now and then. For anyone considering internet dating, I'd recommend starting with one of those. It'll give you a great idea of the kind of men on the site and how everything works. If you like it, go ahead and pay for the subscription when the weekend is over. If not, at least you're not out any $$.

    I briefly tried internet dating two years ago after a free weekend. Met a lot of interesting people. Made some friends. Dated a few guys (actually, I'm still dating one of them). However, if I was on the market now, I would not try internet dating again. Mostly because my job allows me to interact with more people (ie, men) than my previous job did. And I sort of have a "been there, done that" attitude about it now. Maybe if I was a bit older (I'm 25), I'd give it another go. Possibly on a different site than before (I used eHarmony). Hypothetically speaking, of course, since I'm in a relationship!

    There's definitely potential on the internet. You just have to be picky and keep an open mind all at the same time. :)

  6. I met my husband on a internet dating site... and I'm only 23 lol
    We have an official tale though, only very very close friends know we met online, even our parents think we met by complete chance one night in the pub. We do that simply because ifwe told people that that's how we met they start to ask questions like "why were you doing that?" and all sorts of personal questions that I don't want to answer!
    Go for it, even if you don't meet someone special, you will have tried something new and different and possibly have met a few interesting people along the way!x

  7. You like 'em in black budgie smugglers Kate?

    Interesting. You should put that in your profile.

  8. Rapunzel is the last person you should take love advice from haha. No offence, R ;-)
    I think it's a great way to meet people - because you know you have something in common before you meet up with someone. Far better than going on a date with a random drunk you snogged on the dancefloor.
    *Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary*

  9. It can be a potentially frustrating and unromantic way to meet people, but I did meet two different girlfriends via internet personals. You are able to meet people you'd never meet otherwise. But there are aspect to it that are disheartening too.
    Oh, and when evaluating someone's appearance, always go by the most unflattering photo.

  10. It'll be great! Everyone is meeting online now because people nowadays just don't have the time to go out and socialize night after night. I know a few couples who met online and are now very happy. That could be you. Good luck, Kate!

  11. i did the whole online dating thing and yes, it was a last resort of some sorts. so i figured i might as well screen guys from the comfort of my home and the anonymity of the internet. if nothing, at least i had some dates and some interesting stories to tell, both of which i had. it worked out for me though 'coz that's how i met my bf. and (perhaps) strangely, we've never lied bout how we met either.

  12. I have to say that I share your view on online dating so I'll be very interested to see if you prove us right or wrong! Good luck :)

  13. Congrats on getting to the 100!

    Just wanted to know that I've talked about you over on my blog. (Well they do say that the only thing worse than being talked about, is not being talked about!)

    Rapunzel x

  14. You should do it, since you have a pool of like 20 million with Match. Well, if you set your filter to "worldwide". It's not like it was a few years ago...most single people are online now. You will probably meet the same crazy people online that you would meet at bars anyway.

    Good luck! Maybe you can try speed dating next...

  15. This looks like a good introduction to what should hopefully be a few hilarious dating experiences.

    Hopefully for me anyway (your 101th subscriber by the by!)
    But I'm thinking your hoping for something else.

    Either way. Win win.

  16. Thanks for the comments everyone, as always! I can't believe that I've got over 100 followers! *blushes*

    I'm still not too sure about the whole internet dating thing, but who dares wins Rodney... x