Wednesday, 13 January 2010

Top Ten Topics to Avoid on a Date

Music:  Shut Up and Let Me Go - Ting Tings

Is it just me or do some people not know what topics of conversation are off limits when they go out with someone on a date? 

There are certain areas of discussion which I really think should remain taboo during those first few all important meetings with a new victim potential love interest.  I know this, as I've has the (dis)pleasure of experiencing quite a few horrific dates where the conversation has veered perilously off-piste and into the realms of dating nightmare.

Please have a read of the list below and let me know what you think.  I'd also love to hear any of your dating horror-conversations (as it will make me feel better for the dates I'm going to tell you about next!).

Top Ten Topics to Avoid on a Date

10. The Weather.
Just how dull are you? Ooh, can we talk about the long range forecast next please? (Unless you’re a meteorologist on a date with another meteorologist, in which case I’m sure this would be fascinating. You could flirt unashamedly about “Moist conditions south of the border” and use other such racy innuendos).

The only spark came courtesy of the lightening

9. Affiliations with racist organizations.
Or making racist comments in general. I won’t laugh politely and I’ll end the date very quickly. Probably after hitting you.

8. Religion.
This should only be discussed if you are a member of a fanatical cult (possibly dating unsuspecting victims to try and increase numbers). If this is the case I would like to know, so I can get away from you as fast as I can before you seize my bank accounts, reduce me to a brainwashed zombie and poo on my chest.

7. Politics.
Do I have a passing interest in politics? Yes. Am I a political activist? No. Does talking about politics generally involve a light hearted discussion, allowing you to get to know each other over trivial details? Definitely not. Therefore avoid.

6. Sex.
Unless you are just dating each other for sex or you’re already in the hotel room. A graphic description/reconstruction of your best sex move is not going to impress me if we haven’t even kissed yet.

5. Money and how much money I/you/we make.
Big alarm bells ring if this comes up too soon. Are you eyeing me up as a meal ticket? Is the fact that I’m supposed to be impressed by the size of your wallet meant to stop me from wondering about the size of anything else, or from realising that you’re a complete idiot? PS: This round’s on you.

4. How many children do I want?

3. Weird illnesses/afflictions that you have.
I do not want to know that you have a third nipple/sugar allergy/plastic arsehole until I actually know you a bit, otherwise you’re just going to come across as a weirdo that tells total strangers really intimate details inappropriately early. And that’s just slightly worrying in my book.

2. The fact that you did have gonhorrea
But it’s more than likely cleared up by now. Yeuw.

"Did I mention that I have knob rot?"

1. You’ve just split up with a girl who dumped you.
For your dad.  Or talking about/slagging off your exes in any detail really, as this will either show that you’re still hung up on them, or that you’re a bitter and twisted type who’s going to be a right barrel of laughs…. Both of which are equally unattractive.

So what do you think?  Is it just me who thinks these topics of conversation should be off limits at least until you've been dating for a good couple of months?  The reason why I ask this is because I experienced quite a few of these conversational gems the last time I was playing the dating game, as you will soon see...


  1. I like this post! Poo on your chest??!! HA! Plastic arsehol?! :)

    I think that another obvious, yet important, thing to remember on a first date is to just be genuine and be yourself (well, the best version of yourself, of course). When I’ve feel the need to play a role or alter my personality to “keep up” with someone else, it’s never been worth it.

    I did once go on a date with a guy who was the “strong and silent” type. He’d say “Hi, how are you” and then NOTHING else. It was SO awkward trying to carry on a conversation…

  2. That's a pretty damn funny list. Trying to think back when I was dating the wife...hmmm...she actually talked about #1 with me. Go figure. I was dating someone when we met and I dated her at the same time. She kept talking trash about the other girl the entire time. Was pretty damn funny and in the end, she was more than right! Been married going on 7 yrs now :)

  3. awww what's there leave to talk about! :o) kidding...thanks for stopping by my blog...hope you don't mind if i follow...

  4. I would qualify #10 with 'unless you live in England'. Talking about the weather is a national sport there. If you don't start and end a conversation with weather talk, you will be seen as 'weird' and never talked to again. Mhm.

  5. I agree - some times dates can just be dull. I think the rule should be never bring up a topic if it bores even you!

    Kate xx

  6. I still think talking about moist conditions south of the border would be hilarious even if you aren't a meteorologist. ;)

  7. Oh come on! The weather?! You can't diss on someone for talking about that!

    Picture it, adorable guy, looks longingly at you... "So we're getting a big snowstorm this weekend! You ready? Wanna get snowed-in together?"

    I'm sorry, but I love weather. A while back, The Weather Channel had the best tag line, "Weather, it's something we all have in common" -- so true!

    Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing

  8. Ha---thanks for this list!
    I would also add "previous online dates". I really don't wanna hear how many girls posted old photos "before they gained the weight", or how he managed to date so many crazy women who never called back. Keep your online dates to yourself.

  9. I agree with your list. I think it holds true for women too!

  10. I agree with the list! And you made me laugh out loud - can't wait to read about the dates where one (or more) of these subjects were broached!


  11. LOVE the list! Totally spot on!!! Date guy #1 from Saturday could have used this list...

  12. Hilarious list! I have a first date on Sunday and I'll keep it in mind.

    My friend has a blog about her dating life too:

  13. I love this list! definitely something everyone should read before dating. Your post put a huge smile on my face! Can't wait to see what you come up with next :)

  14. good list. i think #2 would freak me out to the high heavens.

    btw bummer bout the sexy young guy. having "gone out" (i.e. just make out a few times) myself with a guy 6 years my junior, i've realised that that age gap is sometimes waay too large and he's just still immature.

    i'm loving your blog :)

  15. Thanks for all your comments everyone.

    Laura@Cowboyboots - Thanks for stopping by and following!

    Lifebegins and Ally: I live in England and although talking about the weather is one of my country's favourite pastimes, it drives me to distraction! Although I like the sound of a gorgeous bloke wanting to get snowed in with me....

    Ken - good luck for your date. I hope it goes well. You'll have to let me know how it goes. :-)

  16. Um... right on. I've talked about several of these topics on recent dates. And yes, they were lame dates.

  17. Wow...that was great, just what I was thinking.