Friday, 22 January 2010

Mr. Blind Date: The End?

It was a strange feeling, looking forward to going into work on a Monday morning, but I was so excited about picking up where I’d left off with Chris, my blind date, that I sang all the way down the motorway and even got in early. For some reason (and I really can’t think why now) we hadn’t exchanged phone numbers on our date, I think because we’d been so happily communicating by email that the thought never crossed our minds.

It was about 10:30am, and I decided that this was a time that wasn’t too early to look over eager, but was reasonable to expect me to have picked up any new work and have a bit of time to craft an email. So I emailed Chris, asking about how his weekend had been and all the usual friendly/flirty chit chat. I also told him a bit about what I’d been up to, all the while keeping it nice and breezy.

Now up until this point I’d usually get a reply from him in about an hour or so, sometimes pretty much straight away. It was really hectic at work, so I was busying myself with all my tasks. Before I knew it, 2pm had crept up, and still no reply from Chris. I was getting a bit worried. Had I said something to offend him? Had I come on too strong? I didn’t think so, as I’d only sent him a casual email, just as we’d both been doing for the past week or so. Had he met someone else he liked more at the weekend after our amazing first date, or had he decided that he really just didn’t like me that much after all?

At just after 3pm my computer pinged and the new mail icon appeared. It was from Chris. Without even taking a breath I clicked on the icon and his message appeared full screen.

To summarize:

Chris had a good weekend and spent a lot of it watching the cricket. He’d gone out into town on Saturday night but it had been a bit of a quiet one as his mates were skint. He poked fun at where I’d been out and asked me how my day was going. Then he kicked me in the proverbial nuts. I’m paraphrasing what he said, but here’s the gist:

As you know I had a brilliant time last Thursday when we went out, but I’ve got something I need to tell you. I was singing your praises to all my mates over the weekend and telling them all about you, but that made one of my female friends come to a bit of a realisation. You see, we had a bit of a thing a while back but she decided she just wanted to be friends. I think that hearing me talking about you got her thinking and she wants to try and give it another go before she decides if she’s going to live in New Zealand. I’ve still got really strong feelings for her and I’m really sorry as you are great and it almost feels a bit like wrong time wrong place. I hope you understand and don’t think that I’m a total bastard.

Would love to stay in touch, as it’s not often you find a girl that knows so much about sport and can almost(!) beat you at pool.

Sorry again…. Chris

F*cking great.

The girl doesn’t want him, then someone else arrives on the scene so she decides that even though she’s not entirely sure if she wants to be with him that no-one else can have him in the meantime. Grrr. 

I send a short and to the point reply, which I do remember word for word:

That’s a shame as I thought we got on really well. I hope things work out for you, as you seem to be a nice guy. Take it easy.

And that was that. The best first date in my life, and I didn’t even get a second date out of it.

Things I learnt from this fiasco:

• Blind dates have the potential to work, provided that both parties are truly looking to meet someone new.

• Blokes can have baggage too, even if everything seems to be hunky dory on the surface.

• Sometimes even if you do everything right and things are going brilliantly, try not to get too carried away as things can still go wrong.

Now I do have a bit of a postscript to this story, as two and a half years after our one and only date, I put Chris’s name into Facebook and up pops his profile. I decided to poke him to see if he remembered me, and within a day he’d requested me as a friend. Curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to send him a message to see if it ever did work out with his “friend”. Here’s what he said:

1:17pm Jan 16th
Well hello, fancy bumping into you on here.

I bet you don't remember me, but you kicked my arse at pool at The Elbow Room after we'd been set up by our mutual friend Ian.

How's things?  Still following the cricket?

I hope that all's well, and that you got it together with the girl that was going away (to New Zealand I think?).

3:09pm Jan 16th
Course I remember you! In fact I was thinking about you just yesterday strangely enough.

I ended up flying halfway across the world to tell Sarah I loved her: at the Orangutan sanctuary in the jungles of Borneo, alas she didn't feel the same, she decided to stay in NZ although we are firmly best of friends and she's at home visiting at the minute.

I feel cheated by the national cricket team these last few years! They are appalling bad!


9:51am Dec 17th
Blimey you're an old romantic devil aren't you? I'm sorry things didn't go to plan, but at least you've stayed good mates.
I'm really not impressed with the English cricket team at all at the moment either…

Anyway on a different note, are you back living in Leeds now? From what I remember you'd gone back home (and weren't too happy about it) when I saw you.

11:19am Dec 17th
Ah well after a lot of umming and aahing I thought it's better not to have any regrets over the matter so off I went. Had a bloody good holiday too.

I am back in Leeds, this time right in the middle of the city, moved back in April after a winter in the wilderness.

I've just checked the cricket score, I feel sick!

Interesting, no? So they didn’t end up getting it together, but notice how he doesn’t ask me any questions about myself. Therein signifies a man who is not at all interested. However, Facebook tells me that he’s not in a relationship at the moment, but that could mean anything. I have to admit though, that recently I have been contemplating asking him for a rematch at pool but so far have chickened out as I think it would be a bit out of left field and also look a bit desperate. We’ll see…

Much to Ian’s annoyance I think I’ll mull over that one a bit more.


  1. jungles of borneo huh? wtf is that all about, what happened to sandy beaches and sunset champagne? orangutan's are cool i guess... heheh.. hey ya never know right?

    lata kate!

  2. what is it w/us girls and the 'i don't want him, but you can't have him either' situation? (racking brain to see if i've done this...nope can't remember)
    same thing happened to me...was dating a guy...a girl who he had had a crush on showed he told me about it and dumped me....the kicker...when he went to 'get w/her' she said she was only kidding....he tried crawling back to me...but alas i realized i never liked him to begin with! it was a freeing moment! so thanks joanna...i could have ended up w/a total loser!

  3. Gawd, dodged a bullet on that one! Sorry, Ian sounds like a Wanker and his friend as a tease. So she hears him talking about his fun date and throws her hat in the ring even though it kind of sounds like she already knew she was leaving for NZ?!

    I think you made the first move by contacting him on facebook, now it's up to him. I wouldn't do it though. At least he was man enough to tell you what was up but now you're this girl he dumped to declare his love in Borneo. Blah! (Blah to the situation, not you).

    I've had a couple conversations with this one guy whose been with a girl for over a year. Thing is he very plainly told me that he still has feelings for this old girlfriend that he had for 7 years! He had broken things off though because he couldn't seem them being together for ever. I wanted to smack him upside the head.

  4. But you handled yourself perfectly, just like a respectful young lady should. You should be proud of yourself for responding like a mature adult.

  5. I wouldn't ask him for a rematch. I would, however, post a completely sexy pic of yourself on Facebook. Just like us girls have the "I don't want him but you can't have him either" syndrome, guys have the "Wow, she looks good and I missed out" syndomre. I bet the rematch invite will come your way :)

  6. What an interesting story! You did so well - I don't think I could have contained myself like you did!

  7. You took it like a CHAMP!!! May this man realize what he is missing out on and when he will already be spoken for :)-

  8. I'm comping Lifebeginsat30ty on this one! You made the first move by contacting him. So he knows that you are either somewhat interested or at least thinking of him! In his mails, he's not asking anything about you, only talking about himself and this girl; to be honest, he seems like a total wanker!

    And let's imagine that you end up together.. You'd always be his second choice! You never, ever should be anything but the first!


  9. So the conclusion seems to be that Chris is a bit of a wanker and I shouldn't bother to contact him again. Fair enough I think!

  10. Urghhh frustrating! Although if it was me, I'd opt to be friends even if it didn't work out relationship-wise. My policy is that you can never have too many friends, and more importantly: who knows who they know? They might even set you up with another nice bloke they know (like how Ian did in the first place)!