Tuesday, 12 January 2010

Mr Sexy 20yr Old (Part 2)

Music: Kiss You Off - Scissor Sisters

I was pleased that it was just Beth and I going out for my first night as a newly single woman. Beth had a steady boyfriend, and had got together with him only a couple of months earlier than me and my cheating ex, aka the Evil Cockbag. Beth has never really done the whole meeting men in bars thing, and as it was just me and her and a bottle of wine I figured that the night would involve no men, no drama and absolutely nothing to write home about.


We were standing by the bar we were on our second bottle of el cheapo plonk, chatting away about anything and everything other than the Evil Cockbag. A group of lads came in, and I refer to them as lads as that is exactly what they were. Young, late teens and early twenties, all good looking and most of them knew it. They ended up standing not so far away from us in the bar, and as they were a good bit of eye candy we attempted to focus our inebriated eyes in their general direction and started to talk about which one was the fittest.

I have to be honest with you; Mark was one of the most beautiful young men I had ever seen. When I say beautiful I mean it in exactly that way if that doesn’t sound too strange. He was 6ft tall, had broad shoulders which tapered to a slim (but not too slim) waist, and you could tell that under his pale blue polo shirt he had a very toned upper body. His skin was slightly honey in colour and he had the most amazing wide blue eyes with just that hint of cheekiness, but also the innocence of a man who’s still a bit of a boy. His hair was short and light brown and was slightly ruffled at the front. In short, he was well fit.

He’s really fit,” I said to Beth. (Well, I slurred… probably).

“Right then, I’m going to tell him," Beth replied.

And off she went, not even giving me chance to feebly attempt to try and stop her.  The cow.

Beth was talking to him for what seemed like absolutely ages, until she sashayed back over to me, grinning ridiculously, with Mark and one of his mates in tow.

Exactly what Mark and I talked about I have no clue, but we weren’t exactly chatting for long before we were snogging each other’s faces off like teenagers in the middle of the bar, almost as if we were back at school and getting off with each other behind the back of the sports hall. It was ace. I later discovered that the teenage snogging was highly appropriate, as Beth had successfully used the classic “My friend fancies you” line. I didn’t think that line actually worked.

Anyway, Mark and I swapped mobile numbers and went our separate ways at the end of the night, with Beth getting a gold star for not only being the best wingman ever but also spending a couple of hours chatting to Mark’s tedious friend who thought he stood a chance with her, the loser.

Mark and I sent each other a lot of text messages the following week. I’d just started a new job and was working away from home and I found it all a bit of a thrill to be flirting with a guy I didn’t even know. Every time I received a text message I got a bit of a tingle, and I have to admit the texts did get a little bit steamy. Whilst I did consider that he’d be showing what I’d written to all his mates I didn’t care as I found the whole experience quite liberating.

Through these texts I found out that he was only 20 (eek, very young), played football (mmm, wears shorts: good), lived down the road from me (with his parents: not so great) and worked as a packer (again, not great but hey he’s my rebound guy). This young, sexy man who purely based on looks was totally out of my league was interested in me, some slightly messed up woman who was six years his senior.

The next weekend I was out in town on Saturday night again, when Mark sent me a text message:

Hey, are you in town tonight?  Wanna met up? M x

Looking back I realise that he must have thought that his luck would be in and who can blame him as I suppose I’d led him on a bit during the course of the week like some wannabe dirty slapper. I managed to convince my friends to go to the cheesiest club in the world so I could meet up with him, and once in there Mark and I found each other and had a brief snog before I had to leave him to go and powder my nose.

The guilt of dragging my friends in there was so strong, and when I re-emerged from the loo I couldn't see Mark so I excitedly rejoined my friends at the bar and ended up having a few drinks with them.  I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm not going to start scouring a club for a bloke as that just smacks of desperation, doesn't it?  I must have stayed with my friends for about three quarters of an hour, and I was starting to wonder where the hell Mark had got to when I glanced across the dance floor and spotted him kissing a younger, slimmer, (and I think) prettier girl.  I could have kicked myself for being so stupid, and for even thinking that he might have been interested in more than a quick feel up and a shag (if I was lucky). I left him to it and didn’t go over.

At about 2am my phone vibrated to life with an incoming text message as I was waiting in the queue for a taxi.  It was from Mark.

Hi, are you still in the club?  I lost you!  Do you wanna drag me back to your cave then or what? Mxx

Charming.  He had obviously been blown off by his earlier conquest and was ever so kindly offering me his sloppy seconds. 

Funnily enough, I didn't reply.

A few weeks later I bumped into him again when I was out in town. I smiled and said hello, but Mark completely blanked me, either not remembering me at all or pointedly choosing not to.

Still, I took a lot from this brief interlude...

• I can pull fit men (with a little help if I’m too scared!)

• Young men are likely to only be after a bit of fun, and if I’m looking for anything more serious then I should probably avoid them in the future.

• I shouldn’t set my expectations too high as to what might happen as a result of meeting someone in a club.

As dating disasters go that one wasn't too bad.  It's time to bring out the big (and more embarassing) guns...


  1. Can we rename him 'Mini Cockbag'? Bwahaha, LOVE that name!

    I think the mistake was to go to him. It was no challenge! In that situation you are ALWAYS busy. Make him come to you!

  2. Yeah I agree with you Lifebegins. To be honest I should have expected what happened, but at least I binned him off before I embarassed myself any further. Believe me, this is one of the better dating disasters I've had.

    The next one I'm going to tell you gives me hideous flashbacks to this day... *shudder*

    Kate x

  3. Remember, fit men aren't everything, it's what's inside that counts.
    Spoken from a not-so-fit woman :)

    Tales Of A Fourth Grade Nothing

  4. I am going to live vicariously through your exploits! 7 years ago I got divorced. Dumped by my husband of 11 years for a woman he was having an affair with 12 years younger than him. He had managed to carry on this affair for 3 years!

    The day he got married to that slut (oops, did I just say that?) I met a guy, whom I've now been with for almost 7 years. HE's 12 years younger than me also. But unlike my husband who married and then proceded to kick the bitch to the curb a year later...I'm still with my handsome younger man.

    I will place bets that not only can and will you pull them in, you'll find yourself a new and improved version of Mr. Right. And in the meantime, have fun looking!

    Thanks for stopping by my site! It led me to yours!

  5. Ha ha I agree younger men can be lots of fun! Thanks for the blog visit - thought I would repay the favour and love your blog.

    Kate xx

  6. Thanks for your comments everyone, I really appreciate it!

    Kate x

  7. Hey, you're super funny. Glad you found my blog so I could find yours. I'm also glad you're british, after living in germany for 6 years and meeting lots of brittish lasses, I miss the foreign flavor. You're the first foreigner I'm following! ffffwhoopie! Plus, I also dated a cockbag, and I feel your pain. And the hope that he will too feel pain. Lots of it. Good luck!

  8. this is a good story, and i love your style!!

    i think older guys are definitely the way to go.. at least statistics show, if the woman is older it is very unlikely to work out.. this seems fairly intuitive tho i hate the double-standard :) shhh dont tell ashton & demi..

  9. It's what's in the heart that counts, beauty comes from with in. You could have a perfect adonis but he may be a crap kisser, he may look stunning but he may be crap in bed...

  10. Well, he's kind of a douche. I had a similar experience when I met a younger guy at a bar---we had a great time all night, then I went to the restroom. When I came back (not even 5 minutes, although maybe it was longer since I'd had a few drinks)...he was already on the dance floor with some other girl. He was hot, but not that great. I feel your pain.

  11. Great lesson to be learned...had!!! I must admit my sights were for older men...like 10 years more :)-

  12. There is one night, and one guy that I remember quite well from my days tending bar. It is a common occurrence for a guy to hit on a bartender. Most bartenders play it up, flirt a little, accept the 100% tips with each round. I was no exception, stupid I am not. This particular night, this guy came in early, before the bar was busy, which is the worst time to get hit on, because you can only stock so many bottles, cut so many limes, before you have no choice but to stand there and listen, playing nice. Fortunately, the evening rush kicked in, and he caught the eye of one of the single bar regulars, they left around 11. Shortly before last call, he showed back up, his shirt buttoned wrong, the fly on his pants open...and wanted to buy me breakfast. Sweet, huh?

  13. f8hasit - I will try my best to give you something to live vicariously through!

    Ally and Indigo - I know it's what's inside that really counts. :-) This disaster happened when I was on the rebound and looking for someone handsome to cheer me up, but I agree with you 100% Although saying that, I do have to fancy the guy otherwise it's never going to work...

    Jenny DB and Aubrey - I'm not ruling out going out with an older man this time round, not at all!

    Serenityville - Thanks for following and for making me your first! ;-) You know what I mean...!

    Viv - Ouch. He sounds like a total charmer. Do you have his number? ;-) Only joking. Why do blokes think we won't see straight through them when they try and pull stunts like this? Oh yeah, it's usually because they're drunk.

    Thanks again for all your comments and for everyone who is now following me. It really means a lot. x

  14. You know what, this is exactly what you need after a big break up, a gorgeous guy to snog but not to date! As you say you learnt from it and where would the fun be if you started dating him straight away? Plus having a shag with a guy's parents next door is awful I've been there! This is the start of a whole new chapter and the exciting thing is, if you want, you can make anything happen.