Friday, 7 May 2010

Post-Joe Post-Mortem

Music: Girls and Boys - Blur

I told my work mate Mick about the lingering kiss from Joe, but since it happened I am almost doubting whether it actually did or not. Did I imagine it to be more than it was or did Joe try to kiss me?

Oh I don’t know anymore. Either way, when I relived the moment and described it to Mick I could see his face light up and his eyes twinkle, partly because he had almost predicted it but mostly because he now had some brilliant material to wind me up with for months and months. The wanker. I suppose that as a married man he has to get his kicks from somewhere and I seem to be an easy target. If only he knew what happened with me and Foxy Scott!

On hearing my news, Mick went into overdrive.

“Ha ha! I knew it!” Mick exclaimed loudly so the entire office could hear him. “I knew that Joe always had a soft spot for you.”

I slid down my chair and inwardly cringed.

“Just imagine,” Mick continued as he stared into the mid-distance. “You and Joe start a passionate affair, and after only a couple of months you move into his palatial mansion and give up work to start podding out babies. I can see it now: baby Tarquin in one arm and baby Fifi in the other. Of course, you can afford to give up work as Joe earns so much he can probably afford to wipe his arse on £50 notes. It sounds perfect. Don’t forget who saw it all coming first. I’ll expect a seat on the top table at the wedding.”

“Ha ha very amusing Mick,” I replied, “But that’s not happening anywhere other than in the twisted fantasyland that is your brain.”

“Ooh, get you,” Mick chided in an overly gay fashion. “Well, let’s just see what happens with you two on the next work’s night out. You could share a taxi back to his maybe? A couple of drinks, who knows…?”

“Shhh, will you be quiet!” I whispered to Mick.

I didn’t want everyone to hear my business, let alone make them think that something was happening with me and Joe.

As Mick babbled on I could see that Dan’s ears had pricked up and that he was taking it all in. Fortunately, unlike everyone, else he knows what Mick is like (and is my friend) so I wasn't worried about him spreading any gossip.  Usually he would be piling in with the wind ups but he kept out of it, I guess because he doesn't really know Joe very well...

But why did I decide to tell Mick about Joe when I knew he’d make me the butt of all his jokes? I’m struggling to remember. Oh yeah, it was to get a second opinion as to whether the lingering kiss on the cheek actually meant something. Not that Mick has any clue. Blokes are rubbish at that sort of thing, so I guess I’ve just embarrassed myself and received no real insight.


Must turn my attention back to internet dating.  I can hardly wait...


  1. i do that all the time.

    embarrass myself and receive no insight.

    you're not the only one :)

  2. now that mick mentioned it, giving up work to live in a palatial mansion doeesn't sound too bad :P

  3. my bloke insight is that yes it sounds like it meant something. He wouldn't have put a x on his text message if it didn't mean something.

    Kisses on texts are something we don't do unless we mean something by it.

  4. Lifebeginsat30ty7 May 2010 at 14:15

    Does an x in a text always mean that? Jesus, I'm in trouble.

    As to Kate and the office boys, I do that all the time! Usually I do get some insight though. I think this speaks to the cluelessness of Mick in particular. I think girls are usually good at picking up on this stuff. Trust your instincts!

  5. I think that an x from a bloke does mean more than just a way to end a text.

    A lot of my female friends will end there texts with x but it isn't something I would consider doing back unless I had feelings for them!!!

  6. I can never keep things to myself. Always end up in situations like this.
    *Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary*

  7. I don't trust this Dan dude. He heard the conversation and didn't poke his nose in to find out the juicy gossip? I'd keep my eye on him. Never know if he's plotting to tell Joe!


  8. I actually think you've done right Kate - as you still don't know why Mick was asking you about who you find attractive in the office. If it was because someone likes you at work it will do them good to hear about your potential sugardaddie and keep them on their toes. So not really embarrassing at all, just tactical!!

    Rapunzel x

  9. everyone want to know what the beauty loves or prefers