Kiss Kiss

Music: Kiss Kiss - Holly Valance

My friend Joe had never put a kiss on the end of a text message to me before and I’ve known him for a couple of years.

I read hs message again:

I can’t believe Leeds have stayed up! Sorry if I was a bit quiet after the game. I’ll look forward to seeing you soon for a few drinks :-) x

I had two choices:

1. Reply to his message and just be friendly, ending it without a kiss and hope that he got the subtle subtext. Do men understand subtlety?

2. Reply to his message and be friendly and end it with a kiss, therefore effectively encouraging him and potentially setting the creaking wheels of romance into motion.

As I drove home from the game I considered all the pros and cons of leaving that one extra character at the end of a text message. It’s amazing that one little ‘x’ can mean so much.  It can turn a friendly message into so much more.

Pros of the ‘x’:

• Joe likes rugby. 
• He has a good job.
• He’s not that bad looking. 
• We get on well.
• I’ve known him for so long that I know he’s not a wanker.

Cons of the ‘x’:

• I don’t fancy him, and I mean really fancy him enough to put our friendship on the line.
• He’s a bit older than I’d like my boyfriend to be.
• It would be weird hanging around with him and my friends at the same time as they don't have much in common.
• I don’t fancy him. I mean, I just don’t fancy him enough. I must learn from what happened with John for goodness sake.

But Joe is good on paper, so should I settle for that? I’m not getting any younger and on paper he is an excellent catch.

No, what am I thinking?

I didn’t start out on this experiment just to “settle” for someone because I think they might be the best I can get, especially if there’s no real chemistry between us.  If I did that then I would feel like I had cheated myself despite everything I promised I wouldn't to do this time around.

To clarify my decision I matched Joe up against my Perfect 10:

The Perfect 10 Checklist: Joe

1. Looks

Joe is sort of good looking but more average I think – well, in my opinion anyway. As he’s a bit older things might have started to sag too... Put it this way: I don’t look at him and go weak at the knees/experience any dampness in the knicker region.  So it's a no.

2. Sense of humour

I never really laugh that much with Joe and he certainly has never had me rolling around on the floor in hysterics. Mostly we have quite serious conversations, and even when it’s light hearted I don’t really get much from him humour wise. Therefore as lovely a bloke as he is, it’s a no in this section too.

3. Being Down to Earth

Joe works as an IT consultant so you might assume that he’s up his own arse, but this is so far from the truth and I couldn’t be friends with him if he was, so it's a yes here.

4. Loyalty and Trust

Yes, I think so. He’s definitely loyal to the team we both support, but when it comes to romantic relationships I’m not sure as we’ve never talked about his romantic past. I mean, I assume he's had girlfirends?  He was always trustworthy at work though and I think it’s enough to earn a point.

5. Kindness

Sometimes Joe can be a little detached but on the whole he’s a lovely, generous man, so it's a yes here.

6. Have a strong sense of family

He holidays with his brother and his nephews and spends a lot of time with his family, so a definite yes.  Bit weird holidaying with his brother though, don't you think?

7. Solvency

Definitely.

8. Ambition and a drive to succeed

He is self employed and is successfully running his own business, so yes.

9. Different interests

I’m not too sure. I know he loves skiing (which I’ve never tried as I’d probably kill myself) so that counts, as does golf, but rugby is his main love. I’d still say yes to this one and give him a point.

10. Romance

No idea as I didn’t get far enough to find out.  As I’ve said, I’ve never heard anything about any previous relationships so this will have to be nul points for this criterion due to lack of information.

Marks out of 10: 7

Conclusion: I think that Joe is the typical “Mr. Looks Good on Paper” but in reality there’s still something missing. I think in his case it is the spark that lights up and shines when you really fancy someone. I’ve never felt that tingling sensation when he touches me and I’ve never felt my stomach flip when I see him. To me he’s just lovely, dependable Joe, who has dozens of amazing qualities but who just doesn’t set my world (or pants) on fire. I suppose that at least I learnt to step away this time before burning my fingers.

I’ve decided.

I sent him the following text:

It was a brilliant game - I'm still bouncing!  I’ll definitely see you soon and I’ll remind Mick to get a night out organised. :-)

Friendly, funny and no kiss. Although, reading it back to myself was I a little bit too flirty? Oh well sod it, I sent it and it was too late to change it.

A few minutes later my phone buzzed with an incoming text message, again from Joe:

Great I’ll look forward to it. I’ve not seen Mick and the other guys in ages. I’m off to go and have a couple of pints and celebrate our win! See you soon. Take care :-)

Phew, no kiss and problem averted. I think.

I’m going to have a chat about this with my work mate Mick to see if he’s picked up on anything from Joe, but then again it will probably be very painful as Mick will undoubtedly whip his big shit-stirring stick out and have a field day.

I’m glad I screwed my head on firmly over this one as I’d hate to ruin another friendship, especially as it would mean that I’d have to find another willing soul to watch the majority of home games with next season.

Joe is a brilliant guy, but just not perfect for me. 

I'm almost 100% convinced of that...

Wot am I doin?

Music: Some Kinda Rush - Booty Luv

Craig and I have been flirting quite a bit over the past week, and in true teenager style it's all been done via text messages.  Oh yes, romance is well and truly alive.  Well, as long as it's within 160 characters.  Craig is definitely putting a big fat smile on my face, and a bit of gentle flirting is just what I need.

However...

I can’t help but be put off by the way he writes his messages.

Argh.  Please don't hate me for saying this.

Craig’s use of spelling and grammar (or, the lack of it) does worry me slightly. I wouldn’t go as far as saying that I’m a grammar nazi, but I just don't understand why ppl feel da nd 2 tlk in txt spk. Am I being too picky? Maybe it’s because he’s a bit younger than me? Or maybe the English language was never his strong point?

I've discovered that Craig works with his Dad in the family painting a decorating business, and from the casual Google stalking I’ve done today it looks to be very successful business too.  Maybe this means he didn’t try too hard at school?  I almost feel a bit shallow in being put off by grammatical errors, especially as Craig is only meant to be a bit of fun.  I thought that kissing him on a night out would be the start and the end of our little liaison, but as we're now starting to get to know each other I fear that I'm looking into things too much and I’m skipping along ten steps at a time. I’ve got to calm down. We are only texting each other and this is only a bit of fun....

Is it?

Craig

Music: I Remember - Deadmau5 & Kaskade

When I say I remember Craig (the man who I met on Saturday night) I do.  Sort of.  It's all very hazy though.  Very hazy.

I’m not even sure how I ended up talking to Craig let alone how I ended up snogging him.  Yes, that's right, I kissed a boy on Saturday night.  Well, a man.  The reason why I don't remember the finer details of our bout of tonsil-hockey is because I was far too busy being an advertisement for the dangers of binge drinking.   Oh yes, I am a classy girl.  If I'm being totally honest, I don’t even remember much of what Craig and I talked about. In fact, my first memory of him is when Nicola came up to us on the dance floor mid-snog, tapped me on the shoulder and asked:

“Are you OK mate?”

Er, yeah. I think?

This is terrible but even if I really concentrate now I can’t really remember what he looks like. He definitely has short hair, I know that much. I think it was blonde or sandy.  I’m pretty convinced that Craig is taller than me and had some quite good muscles going on under his sleeves. This must be true, as even the drunk me wouldn’t forget a detail as important as that. I’ve half convinced myself that he looks a bit like Brian O’Driscoll who captains the Ireland rugby union team, which is not a bad thing if it’s true. Not a bad thing at all.

What I do know is that we swapped numbers at some point during our dance floor snogathon, as at 10am on Sunday morning I was woken from my pool of drool on the couch by my phone pinging with an incoming text message:

Craig:


Good morning and how’s you today?

Blimey 10am? I was really pleased to hear from him and I must still have something going for me after all, but at 10am after a night out I am barely alive. I can’t drink like I used to. Well, I can drink like I used to, but now it takes me a couple of days to recover from the alcohol abuse as opposed to a couple of hours’ worth of drunken sleep.

Craig and I have been playing text message ping pong during the past couple of days, and he even asked me if we could meet up on Sunday morning before I went back home. Er NO! Not the way I looked! The vamped up sexy look I was working on Saturday night was replaced the morning after with a washed out version of Marilyn Manson, complete with darkened bags under my bleary eyes which resembled two piss holes in the snow. Attractive is not the word.  It was sweet of him to ask though.

However...

I replied to his message and said that sadly I wouldn’t have time to meet up, but that it would be good to go out for a drink the next time I go over to Preston… to which he said definitely yes! Whether that will ever happen I have no idea (I very much doubt it) but I will see.

As a result of our text conversation yesterday and today I’ve found out quite a few things about him:

1. He is called Craig.

2. He works with his Dad for the family painting and decorating business.

3. He is twenty-five.

4. He supports Preston North End football team.

5. He doesn’t like rugby (boo).

6. He loves motor sport (zzzzz).

And that’s about it. I’ve been wracking my brains and been trying to force myself to remember what he looks like, but all I get is the occasional glimpse of his face like in a snapshot.  My friend Nicola tried to take some photos of him for me, but the flash didn’t go off in the first one and in the second all I can see is the back of his head. The only thing I can determine from this is that he’s not going bald, and he was wearing a charcoal grey jumper with a shirt underneath and some jeans. Which looks good from behind.

Still, I’m glad that I’ve got my first kiss as a single girl out of the way though but I just wish I could remember more about it. I know that looks wise I’ve got the thumbs up for Craig from Nicola, but knowing how kissing men whilst drunk has worked out for me before I’m not holding a great amount of hope that Craig is any better than any of them.

I’m just going to see how it goes...  Watch this space...